It is beautiful here and I don't like snow...

Well, my battery has about an hour left…the charger works about half the time, and it’s not right now. I think it overheats and turns off…but I will try to get out a bit of what’s been happening.
I am in St. Petersburg right now. Leaving tomorrow night to head for home. I started out last Sunday for Russia and am pretty mixed up in my days and nights. I have only slept about 4 hrs a night if that. Really odd for me; I am usually a pretty good sleeper. But with 11 hrs difference, half a world and meeting a new son, I guess that is going to mess you up just a little. (or a lot!)
So, I flew from home to Minneapolis/St. Paul, then to Amsterdam and on to St. Petersburg. Spent one night and then flew to Archangel. Got there very late and went to meet Alexander the next day. And well worth the wait! He turned 4 on the 6th of December, just a couple of days before I got to see him. I am told one of his caregivers got him a toy truck. I took him a stuffed bear (easy to stuff in a suitcase) and, of course, a photo album of his new family. I also took him a card the Iain had made for him. It was quite a moment to see his eyes as the coordinator with me translated Iain’s message to Alexander and explained it was a card from his brother…he clutched it to his chest with the biggest smile. He drew a picture for me to take home for Iain…it’s a hedgehog and a sunshine. Can’t wait for the 2 of them to meet, although I do not know yet when that will be. Soon, I hope.
I spent about six hours total over 2 days getting to play with Alexander. I also had hours of interaction with his doctors, helpers, caregivers, etc., as they told me all they could about him. He has been in their care since he was 11 months old, so it’s pretty much all he knows, but they feel, and so do I, that he is very well adjusted and on track for his age. I was SO impressed by the faces, the smiles, the tone of the people when they talked about Alexander! I couldn’t understand a word of what they said (it was interpreted for me of course) but I did not need to understand the language to know that they loved and cared for this child and that they wanted nothing but the best for him! They just glowed…what a statement, without words.
We played and laughed and played and laughed. He has a smile a mile wide! They told me it was ok to take pics, so I am going to assume its ok for me to post them.
At the end of the last visit, I know it would be weeks before I saw him again, but tried to just say goodbye as if I would be right back. Very hard, yet he would not understand it if I cried…I know the caregivers will tell him his mama will be there soon and tell him about the pictures I left and keep him from hurting too much. They have done this before and will keep him from wondering with their love. I, on the other hand, will have to count the seconds in my heart until I can come back again…

I am here!

Should get to meet Alex in the morning! The first place I was at had internet, but it seemed to come and go...didn't get much time online. And now I can not find one part of my adaptor, so I need to dig thru my bags!
Here is one of the pictures that I took from the plane. Will try to update more tomorrow, providing I find that adaptor!

No Fear

I love flying. Today was a first, I think. Flying in the winter was so extraordinary. The bible tells us that looking upon God will be impossible, because the brilliance will be too bright. That is how I felt today, flying to meet my new son in Russia. Seeing the crop circles all white instead of green, not being able to tell where the mountain tops ended and the valley began, going above the clouds into the sunshine, leaving the white fluffy pillows below. As far as I could see was white! In every direction, bright white. There were hills of clouds, valleys, rivers, lakes, crops…I have never seen such a sight. I thought the clouds must be mimicking the earth underneath it, with all of the contours a perfect match—or maybe it’s just a little glimpse of God in all His glory, showing off some of His finest work---for anyone willing to look out the window into the brightness…it was truly incredible. It was so bright, the sun was so hot that after a while, I had to close the blind. Sadness. When we were getting ready to land, I opened the blind again to watch. I really do love seeing our great earth from above. We were still above the clouds, bathed in sunlight. If I looked out under the wing of the plane, I could see the shadow of our plane. Pretty cool. But even better, I could see a rainbow, a perfect circle, surrounding the shadow of the plane. What a show! I am, once again reminded beyond a doubt, that God in His wisdom has my life totally under control. No need for me to worry or fret. I am on my way to Russia to meet Alexander Thomas Hickey, my family loves me, and God has my back…NO FEAR! And Praises to the Lord most high!

Control Issues

I have been reminded of many things this last week. Most of them are beyond words, but I am going to try. First and foremost, to anyone out there that is in the midst of a trial, don't give up! If our God is for you (and He is) then none can stand against you. That doesn't mean they won't try to take a stand, it simply means that the stand will fall...not you. Your God is holding you in His hands, He has your back and He wants you to succeed. In fact, your success is assured, when you let God take control. Woo Hoo, go God!
I also learned that no matter how alone I feel, I am truly never alone. And if I am feeling unloved, the world is lying to me. I am loved, treasured and blessed by God AND by many beautiful folks right here on planet earth. I have received gifts, hugs, words, and lots of love that have been a very real and needed peace to this part of our adoption story.
I have learned that God speaks to us through the people around us sometimes; words for the moment and words that speak volumes to the days (years) ahead!
And I was reminded, in the midst of feeling sorry for myself, wanting to quit, being angry and frustrated, that to not share the bad with the good was not being faithful and waiting on God's perfect timing. There I go, trying to take control back...and I know that never works...still try it every now and then.
So, what happens when you let God have the control?
Got an E-mail from my agency today. I am leaving for Russia by months end to meet my newest son!

Not to...

Well, like I said in the beginning, to Blog or not to Blog. Thinking the answer is not.

No comments, little response, very few reasons to let this be where I put my time. I need to put it to better use; getting my little one here. If you want to stay updated, you know where I am.
God Bless each and every one of you. Thanks for reading.

I LOVE my Dad and Mom.

Real Time

I can't express in any words my feelings right now. I have tried every avenue I know to secure funds to adopt. Credit union loans, home refinancing, etc. all to no avail. Loans and grants from reputal agencies are limited in various ways that make them unacessable to me either at this time or at all because I am a single parent. (That hurts. There are a lot of single parents out there...seems a little discriminatory.) Asking friends and family to reach out and share my plans with their extended families has met with minimal success. To each of you have have offered help and prayers, thank you so much! It means the world to a little guy in Russia! And to me.

I am anxious, hurt, lonely, scared, depressed and confused. I have moved forward with each step of the process, however. I am confident that this is a road God want's me on, whatever the outcome.

But it's Real Time. This is the real story. If I am unable to secure funds in a REALLY short time, I will have no options or means left to go forward and continue trying to adopt this little one. With that in mind, here is my plea...

Do you know of an avenue that I can contact about borrowing from.
Can you or do you know of anyone who is in a position to make a private loan...
Can you or do you know anyone who can loan $1000, or offer it for barter or trade...
Do you have any ideas to offer that I can persue quickly...
Will you pray for God's desires for our family to come to pass...
I will explore any option!

Please leave me a message. I would be my pleasure to talk to each of you that has been following this story. Thank you for helping it unfold.

God Bless...
Debbie

News From Russia

I heard from my coordinator today. Because the little one that I have fallen in love with is going to be 4 soon, they will be moving him to another home. She said it is more remote...makes it much harder to process adoptions. I need to prove that I am moving forward with my plans for them to delay this move, so I am busy with paperwork from the Home Study and Dossier in hopes that he will stay put long enough for me to get it all together!

Please pray for my family as we work through this. It's hard to wait and want, but God is in control. Oh, I have been meaning to tell you were he is now! The city is Arkhangelsk. Look closely...Yes that is Arch Angel! I just so love that. I know there is an angel watching over him until I can.

My sincerest thanks to KC and JC and my mom. You know my heart and I love you.